I am a hypocrite.
Three weeks ago, I was subbing for a science teacher at my school and he left a movie for the boys to watch. It was a horrible movie, gang related, lots of cussing, these 2 guys actually make friends with a church congregation so they can steal their collection money. It was no good, and I was appalled that I had to watch this movie, and I was also really annoyed that this teacher would show this kind of movie to a bunch of guys that are in jail because of gang related activity and theft. When the teacher got back to school, he asked me what I thought of the movie and I told him I thought it was horrible, for the same reasons I explained above. He went on to agree with me, but his argument was that it had a good moral at the end of the movie. In the end, one of the 2 guys did have a change of heart. (He didn't mention that that the other one did not, and ended up getting beaten up by some thugs!)
Now fast forward 2 weeks. My little sister was in town. We had a GREAT time. One evening we were driving around and I put in the soundtrack to the movie Rent. I LOVE that soundtrack! I'm not going to lie, I LOVE that movie too! I was telling her about the story line while we listened to my favorite songs in the soundtrack, and we ended up getting the movie and watching it together. For those of you who don't know that the storyline, it is about a group of friends living in New York City. Many are homosexual, some have AIDS, one is a stripper who is addicted to drugs. The movie is a year of their life. I love the movie because "it has a good story/moral." Obviously Rent does NOT have a good moral if there are so many elements of the movie that do not coincide with the teachings of our church, but I love it because it is real life for many people. You see true emotions in the movie, and I gained a better respect for the human race in general. I also because grateful for my own problems. (I also chose not to avoid the appearance of evil, and there is a lot of it in that movie!)
I know you don't have ask me why I'm a hypocrite, you can already tell, but I'm going to explain it anyway. It seems that I have a habit of holding other people to a standard that I don't hold myself too. I was appalled that a teacher would show a bad movie to a bunch of kids in jail, but I'd bring an inappropriate movie into my home to watch, where I want the spirit to reside. I tell my kids to speak kindly to each other and not to shout, but I have been know to shout myself, and say an unkind word. The list could go on and on.
This morning I was saying my prayers and thinking about the lesson that I have to teach this Sunday in Relief Society about Joseph Smith and missionary work. The thought came to me, which didn't have anything to do with my lesson, but has everything to do with my choice of movies. "How many bad things to do you have to watch, before you get to the good part of the movie?" I wrote it down right when I thought it because I don't want to forget it. Ken and I already have a rule about the F word when we are watching movies. If they say is 3 times we turn it off. All of the sudden that seems like too lax of a rule. The other things is we don't want to hear the F word, but we'll watch a movie that takes the Lord's name in vain DOZENS of times!! Once again, where are my priorities. Many of you can probably see the obvious weakness in such a guideline, but remember we are all in different stages of growth. Apparently, my growth has been stunted!
You may wonder why I am sharing all of this with you, and you may also think that it is just a rambling of too much information. I am sharing it with you because I want to be better. If I tell someone about it, I know that the problem exists and I know I have to try harder to become a better person. ACCOUNTABILITY!
The hymn "Truth Reflects Upon the Senses" comes to my mind, hymn #273, verse 2.
Once I said unto another, In thine eye, there is a mote;
If thou art a friend, a brother, hold, and let me pull it out.
But I could not see it fairly, for my sight was very dim.
When I came to search more clearly, in my eye there was a beam.
I'm going to work harder to get the beam out of my own eye, and not worry so much about what the people around me are doing. I guess that is the point of my whole story. Hopefully I will be able to stick to it! Sorry for the novel on a soapbox! ttfn
I guess there are probably many stories that are related to this topic, that why we can read them in the scriptures. I too need improvement in this area, and in our example I seem to be more aware of it when there is smaller people here. The youth in our homes can influence us for the better, if we allow them. ;)
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